Greetings, friends! and fellow Scots
End of year means that there's lots
To talk about whilst angels hark
So let's get started, Nathan Stark
There's just one rule for what I'll say:
I'll drop no name of our fair play
On Burnham Wood, let's string some lights
To cast a glow on winter nights
And deck the halls of Dunsinane
The tyrant's dead: so pop Champagne!
Sing gracefully with Tripp, Paul Kite
Bright revels give them deep delight
Lo! Pluck a fiddle, strike a tune
With Maestas, Horner, Master Poon
Sip some 'nog, have some sherry
As for me, I'm always merry
Gets and Glover, Jennings, too:
Rustle up some witches' brew!
Onstage Malcolm -- vegan Jonny,
Grace us with "hey nonny nonny"
Awake! To the alarum bell:
Sunjata slew the Hound from Hell!
Let's be grateful, give great cheer
Fine Francesca hovers near
Join Saint Andrew, jump for joy
With the Scot James McAvoy
For his wife, our dear Miss Duff,
Brendan packs Mum's bag with stuff
Ruy, Patrick, stoke the flames
For Banquo: Brian d'Arcy James
Secretly, let's pass a flask
To Zuber, Bennett, Japhy, Pask
Invoke the aid of good Queen Mab
(Oh, right: wrong play, please help, Miss Babb!)
Fight call is our daily rite
Though Derek's free on Christmas night
The holidays? Be large in mirth
Lay down the swords, shout 'Peace on Earth'!
Shakespeare mastered the uncanny
So say Adam, Hattie, Anne C.
Ira, Jason, Ben called Klein
Cradle cups of hot mulled wine
Bundle up in warm wool coats
Liz's blizzard - speaking notes --
Is coming at you, don't you see?
"Caress that s!" "Don't drop that b!"
While we're at it: joyous Kwanzaa
To Steph, Jeff, and chere Bianca
Lavish warmth on wind-whipped cheeks
Tons o' blessings, T.L. Weaks
Triney, Austin, lead the way
To open gifts on Christmas Day
Tyler, Aaron, Chris McHale
Render us some strong wassail
But dear friends, may you all note
Scotch is keeping me afloat
(In Glasgow do they have AA?
For sober friends, I shout hooray!)
Richard Easton, drain the chalice:
Grog awaits you at the palace
Honky horns and New Year's hats
For Doherty, both our Matts
Philip, Jess, and expert Dakin,
All our gladness now awaken
(Let's be clear, though, you must drag us
To a table heaped with haggis)
Give a growl: become a lion
Roar some thanks to Jack O'Brien
Andre, Linda, raise some Cain!
So says Fife, my inner Thane
Jessica, please stir some glee
Toss the tinsel, Daniel Swee
Lastly: Ethan, thanks a lot
All those Russians, now a Scot!
Join me as I roam our halls
See the posters on the walls
Of other actors, oh how great
The shock of those borne off by fate
To them and you I raise a glass
I cannot let this moment pass
Without the words that were so good
That Sondheim used them (yeah, he would)
A Scottish toast tae all of you:
"Who dast be like us? Right: damned few!"
Brendan Lemon is the American theater critic for the Financial Times and the editor of lemonwade.com