Hail, my friends and give a listen
Festive lights are now a-glisten
Mute those phones and lend an ear
Christmastime is drawing near
Carb-filled food is massing fast
Daily tempting all our cast
To those goodies we can add
Heaps and mounds of tidings glad
Grab some grub and help me climb
This Everest of backstage rhyme
Let’s begin with something zany
Deck the halls with our sweet Lainie
Sound the woodwinds, cue the choir
Go full out for Murphy Guyer
Bobby, Brian, Bennyroyce
Raise your arms: elate! rejoice!
Into port let’s gaily dock
Sights and sounds of old Bangkok
Colors, textures, treasures truly
Stun the eyes of Baker-Duly
Cymbals clash and bells all clang
Make some noise for Chang and Yang
Spread some cheer, unfurl some smiles
For Marc Oka, Ruthie Miles
MaryAnn, rain down some honey
Western people oh so funny
Ali Ewoldt, lend a hand
Maestro Resnick, lead the band
All you kids, you know darn well
I like your singing of Adele
(But if you want to see your gift
Please stop singing Taylor Swift!)
Stamp out bleak and banish gloomy
Swig some nog with Bobby, Sumie
Train your range on carols jolly
Lydia, Mindy, sprinkle holly
Muslim, Christian, heathen, Jew
Send up flares for Rocco Wu
Oh, oh, Buddha! Vigor! Vim!
Curtain up for Jim, Kim, Lim
Christmas cookies for Ms. Kelli
Served up hot with bowls of jelly
Do a jig and dance the worm
(But don’t ask me: my no is firm!)
It’s Christ’s birthday, bake a cake
Serve it up to Paul, Paul, Jake
Waft good will to Ashley Park
Yuki, Kelvin, cast a spark
To light the way for dear Arisa
Julius and Atsuhisa
Michiko, Jon Viktor, James
Teach us all some reindeer games
Leaming, Ramos, and O’Choa
Blizzard us with ice and snow, a
White and cozy Christmas day
To hearten Adriana, Kei
Cheng and Cheng and fair Miss Chun
Bless us each and everyone!
Blaze the pudding, mull the wine
For Michael, Cathy, Bart, and Tyne
Stash some presents ‘neath the tree
For Bonale, LaMae, XiaoChuanXie
Lisa, Jenn Rae, Bales, don’t glower
If we’ve signed in post-“half-hour”
Spruce the tree, and make it bolder
For Misa, Steph Jae, Donald Holder
If the orchestra sounds sterling
That’s the genius of Ted Sperling
Amaya, Conrad: Instagram
A photo of that Christmas ham
And if you feast on different treats
Then favor us with yet more tweets
William Poon and Ethan Holder
When the winter nights grow colder
Wrap us in pashmina throws
To heat us for that ‘tween-shows doze
Ann, Minami, Master Vo
Grace us with a ho-ho-ho!
 

And, Santa, boom a belly laugh
For LCT’s keen upstairs staff
Angels fix and and glitter toss
On Mesdames Niebanck, Mason Ross
Place packages in towers tall
For Ira, Hattie, Adam, Paul
Let’s oust all woe, cast out dismay
Bless Kati, Philip, and Andre
Party on in total bliss
With Markoff Matt, Gattelli Chris
Grab some candy while you can
And share it with Cattaneo, Anne
Toffee, taffy, stollen, fudge
Sweets for Julias: Stevens, Judge
Make a bow, floor-deep, of course
To our show’s creative source:
Richard, Oscar, Jerry, Trude
Conjured such a realm of beauty
Over all these precincts royal
Those to whom we must stay loyal
Brunch-time grog brings gulps and guzzlements
For the guys who sing of puzzlements
Ken, Jose, and lordly Hoon
Clap your hands, strike up a tune
Students of our Bangkok school
Fete the Yule with heirs of Yul
To Mister Brynner, so I’ve heard
“Revival” was a dirty word
Each staging must be evergreen
Preserving R & H’s sheen
So: hark the herald, angels, sing!
Glory to our newborn King!


The clock’s run down, my verse is done:
A Happy New Year, everyone!
At holidays and through the fleeting
Hours till my next time’s greeting
Notwithstanding grief and crisis
Gun-mad pols and dreaded ISIS
Bethlehem provides the reason
For observance of the season:
Not just trimmed and tinseled trees
But warmth for outcasts, refugees
Never let our efforts cease
Toward truth and justice, love and peace!


Brendan Lemon is the American theater critic for the Financial Times and the editor of lemonwade.com.